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INTEREST CATEGORY:
POSTING TYPE: TOCs

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Editorial

It Is Time for Marketing to Move on from the Four Peas to the Five Carrots
—Corrado Nuzzo

Regular Programming

I¡¯ll Sleep When I¡¯m Canceled: The Role of Circadian Marketing In Nocturnal Brand Engagement
—Segmenth Freued Berger

Carrying Coals to Newcastle: How a Revitalized Carbon Craze Can Fuel Marketing
—Murray Auchincloss, Darren Woods, Wael Sawan, Amin H. Nasser, Patrick Pouyann¨¦

Unintended Classical Conditioning Malady: Pavlov¡¯s Ankles
—Cy DeFect, Denom Nater

Alexa, What Do I Want?: Algorithmic Intuition and the Death of Consumer Agency
—Ada Lurvlace Srinivasan

How Many Totes Is Too Many?: The Paradox of Sustainable Swag
—Greta Thornberg-Thurau, Abby Normal

Conquest, War, Famine and Death as Potential Marketing Opportunities
—Choliamelan Melancholia, Drunen Drumpfer, Eleone Mosca, Rupert R. Rupert

Brands All Over the Perceptual Map: A Nonmetric, Nonparametric, Nonuseful Model
—I. Dale Pointer-Saster, Vectir Waits, Moltee DiMentions

I Wuz Framed: A New Theory of No Prospects Decision-Making
—Ames Tuverkski, Daniel Canthemon

Engagement by the Deceased: The Dearly Beloved as Influencer
—Numer Nater, Bauble Hed Homer

Auto-Consumption and Why Consumers Eat their Boogers
—Jay Seinfeldt

The Consumer Psychology of Gadgets and Gizmos
—T.V. Ronco

New Wine in Old Bottles, Old Wine in Even Older Bottles, and That Wine That Spilt on the White Rug
—Farbo Fatturone, Cashmere Maracash, Peter Panificio

A Haiku on Bayesian Poisson Factorization
—Frack Son, Cocoa Drill Dunderhead, Marteene Theo Marketeenie, ¹È¸è·­Òë·Ç³£ºÃ

Quantum Marketing: Schr?dinger¡¯s Cat as a Promotional Mascot
—Machs Plank Kotler, Niels Boar Zeithaml, Will.i.am, Or.maybe.not

How Influencers Influence Influencers: An Infinite Loop Paradox
—Linus Torvalds, Heddy Spinner, Heddy Spinner, Heddy Spinner, …

Special Issue Call: “Marketing Yesterday, Today, and Later Today”
—Special issue editors Bingotto varn Malatur, Malotto varn Bingatur

Point-No Point #1

How Many Factors Could Factor Analysis Analyze if Factor Analysis Could Analyze Factors?
—Rensis Likert

How Long Do I Have to Put Up with This Nonsense?
—Louis Leon Thurstone

Point-No Point #2

In Defense of Significant P-Values
—Norm L. Prostate, Bernouber Bernwoody

P-Values Are a Pain So Let’s Just Make Stuff Up
—Poynt O. Fiber, Jardine O. Forking Plaths

With Apologies

Happy April Fool’s Day to Everyone
—L. Mar Immoderatore

Thanks for contributions from Rich Lutz, Mary Gilly, Tonya Bradford and Hope Schau. Any offense taken is no doubt due to one of their contributions, not from one of mine [-ch].