ÂÜÀòÉç¹ÙÍø

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It is my sad duty to announce that the official sanction of Beersig, initiated a year ago, must now be ended. Rather than list all the problems caused by Beersig, I have decided to post just a small but representative set of violations that occurred during last Summer’s ÂÜÀòÉç¹ÙÍø Educators’ Conference. Among the problems encountered were:

• the SIG conference session (8.2) that included "ritualistic" shredding of Journal of Marketing articles;
• spillover incidents at academic presentations being held next to Beersig track sessions including Tracks 8.2, 9.2 and 11.2;
• "Tiger Paws" stickers on each of the meringue pie desserts served at the Saturday luncheon;
• some very unfortunate tricks played on foreign doctoral students;
• an incident that is still being clarified that involved certain phrases that appeared on the score board at PETCO Park during the Padres-Dodgers game on the night of August 9th;
• another incident in or near Tijuana on the evening of the 10th whose details are also still not known but which resulted in several Beersig members being detained by the US Immigration and Naturalization Service. Additionally, the incident resulted in the Mexican Consulate demanding an apology from the Mayor of San Diego;
• a further incident at Black’s Beach involving emergency medical intervention as the result of an as-of-yet unexplained mass fainting phenomenon by San Diego locals;
• damage to the African savanna display at the San Diego Zoo;
• small brush fires in both San Diego County and Imperial County and
• minor damage to two Freeway overpasses (mostly affecting traffic on I-805).

I will not even dignify, by listing it, the so-called "Beersig Yacht Excursion". Suffice it to say that the Captains of two out of the many vessels involved; the carrier USS Nimitz and the guided missile destroyer USS Shoup; have been awarded Distinguished Service Commendations for their roles in what has come to be called the "Battle of San Diego Bay".

In enumerating this subset of incidents my goal is to make it clear that the Academic Council is not acting in an arbitrary autocratic fashion in banning Beersig but is instead acting in a logically autocratic fashion. Certainly the above list of problems did not endear Beersig to the Council, but the main reason we were forced to deSIG the group stemmed from the Friday night opening reception, which as many readers will remember was declared an official Beersig responsibility last year at this time. First and foremost among the problems that arose on Friday night was the unacceptably large amounts of beer dispensed. This resulted in a bar tab of $465,343.20 from the conference hotel. The bill will have severe implications for next Summer’s ÂÜÀòÉç¹ÙÍø Conference, which for lack of funds must now be held in a Motel 6 in Smoky Holler, TN.

It of course goes without mention that there was a fundamental problem at the reception with nearly 900 "relaxed" academics intermingling with a group of "hangers-on" (the official police estimate of the crowd was 11,500) attracted by the music and the free beer. While the Academic Council is greatful that the ÂÜÀòÉç¹ÙÍø was not billed for the music, many Council members are curious as to how Beersig managed to convince U2 to appear.

And speaking of curious, I must also register my perplexity about one other detail. In the official San Diego Police Department Report 119.37 of September 27, 2008, titled "Incidents Pertaining to the ÂÜÀòÉç¹ÙÍø Conference August 8 – August 11, 2008", in a footnote on page 213 mention is made of an elephant that appeared to be intoxicated.

As I am sure many ELMAR subscribers know by now, the California National Guard has banned the ÂÜÀòÉç¹ÙÍø, starting from January 1, 2009, from holding any conferences in California. Subscribers might not be aware that there are Interpol warrants out for the arrest of all 12 members of the Academic Council. Obviously this situation is intolerable. Punishment must be swift and commensurate with the lack of formality exhibited by the SIG. As such, it has been decided that all attendees of Beersig activities, in Summer 2008 and previously, have been banned for life from the four ÂÜÀòÉç¹ÙÍø journals. The Council is still formulating appropriate punishments both for regular Beersig members, and of course for Beersig officers. As soon as we are able to emerge from our hiding place in the national forest east of Smoky Holler, TN, we intend to post that information. Look for that in exactly one year’s time.

With Many Regrets,

Robert R. Ruggiere
Vice-President of Academic Council for SIG Control

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